Today, we’re sharing Carol’s story — a situation many blended families might recognize. Carol carefully planned a romantic weekend with her husband, only to have it unexpectedly turned into a family gathering when his children arrived unannounced at their Malibu villa. Her attempt to salvage the situation by asking the children to contribute financially has created significant family tension. Let’s explore this situation together.
Here’s Carol’s letter:
I (36F) have been married to my husband (42M) for three years now. He has 4 kids from his ex-wife — twin girls (19), a son (17), and another daughter (15). I’ve always tried to be respectful of their relationship, even though they’ve been cold towards me since day one.
For context, my husband and I both work high-stress jobs and rarely get time together. After six months of planning, we finally booked a romantic weekend at this gorgeous beachside villa in Malibu. It cost us a lot for the stay, not including all the special arrangements I’d made — couples massage, private chef for dinner.. you get the idea. I wanted everything to be perfect.
The day we arrived, we had just unpacked and were enjoying our time when we heard a knock at our villa! To our complete shock, his kids had flew in unannounced. Apparently, they had convinced their mom to let them “surprise” their dad for the weekend.
My husband immediately went into dad-mode, hugging them and bringing their luggage in while I stood there trying not to cry. He didn’t even consult me before telling them they could stay. We canceled all our romantic plans and cleared the guest wing for them.
Later that night, when the kids were settling in, I pulled my husband aside.
“This was supposed to be our weekend,” I whispered, trying to keep my composure.
“What was I supposed to do? Send them back?” he replied, looking genuinely confused.
“You could have called their mother to pick them up, or gotten them a separate accommodation,” I suggested.
“They’re my children,” he said in that tone that always makes me feel like the villain.
The next morning, after a sleepless night, I approached the kids while my husband was showering. I told them, my voice calm but firm, “Here’s the deal: pay for the stay or you need to find other accommodations. This was planned as a romantic getaway, not a family vacation.”
The oldest twin burst into tears, calling me a “gold-digger” and saying I was trying to “buy their dad.” The son stormed out, and the younger two just looked shocked. They immediately called their dad, who came out furious at me.
Now my husband is barely speaking to me, the kids have told their mother (who’s now texting me hateful messages), and even my own sister thinks I was being unreasonable.
Was I really wrong to ask them to contribute financially when they completely hijacked our special weekend?